Holidays |
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Traditionally the holiday season is a time for family and friends to gather together and to share their love and friendship. If there is a family member suffering from Alzheimer's disease(AD), it is important for this spirit of love and friendship to continue. The following tips and ideas have been compiled from newsletters from chapters throughout the country, and are presented to help make the holiday season happy for the person with Alzheimer�s disease, as well as the family.
Keep with tradition as much as possible. If the family has a long-standing tradition such as special family dinners, visiting relatives and holding family gatherings, continue as much as is physically and emotionally possible. Traditions can give both the diagnosed person and the family identity and support. Plan ahead. Plans made ahead of time and with careful thought will diminish the stress of holiday events. Encourage family and friends to visit the person with AD, however, keep the number of visitors at one time to a minimum. Too many visitors may be confusing or frightening to the person. If family or friends have not seen the person with AD recently, the caregiver may need to mention new behavior patterns or changes prior to arrival of the visitor. If possible, prepare the person with AD for the holidays in advance. Have the person with AD observe preparations and participate whenever possible. This will help him/her feel a part of the festivities. Avoid the following situations: Loud noise, strange or different surroundings, changes in light intensity, changes in regular routines such as sleeping patterns, dinner time or medication schedules. Limit and control over-indulgence of rich or special holiday food and drinks. Too much rich food or drink may cause the person with AD to become hyperactive or confused. General rule: Avoid alcohol. Treat yourself during the holidays!! You need time to rest and relax from caring for your loved one. Take time for yourself to visit with family and friends; this will lift your spirits and relieve the holiday stress.
Call ahead and ask when is a good time to visit. Do not drop in unannounced, but be flexible. The unpredictable behaviors of some persons with AD may make last minute changes unavoidable. Visits to the person with AD should be short and quiet. Too many changes in routine can be very upsetting to the diagnosed person. Do not be shocked by the behavior or appearance of the diagnosed person if you have not visited for a while. Do not ignore the behavior either. The caregiver may welcome the opportunity to talk, whether to "explain" or express frustration and grief over the change in their loved one. Offer to help with errands or other needs which may be different or increased during this time of year. Shopping, baking, and holiday decorating are good examples. If your offer of help appears as if it were an easy part of your routine, the caregiver is more likely to accept. Example: "I have to stop by the grocery store on my way to your house. Can I bring something?" Do not feel that you must "entertain" the caregiver. At the same time, do not expect the caregiver to entertain you. The greatest gift you can give is your presence - warm, genuine concern. Do not be hampered by feelings of uneasiness. Be available emotionally and in concrete ways by following verbal and nonverbal leads of the caregiver. Do not be obtrusive--go with the flow. Arrange time for the caregiver to get away during the holidays. Try visiting the diagnosed person while the caregiver takes a break. You could consider taking them shopping, out for a walk, or to your house to bake. Remember that church and social groups can meet at the home of the caregiver if he/she cannot get away. The caregiver may enjoy the activity while maintaining the security of looking after the person with AD. Many groups such as bridge, discussion groups, and sewing clubs, are adaptable to meet the caregiver's needs. Chances of success are increased when members of the group are not surprised or disturbed by uncharacteristic changes. If you cannot visit during the holidays, telephone, send a note or find other ways to say "I care. I am thinking of you." A single flower in a container that does not have to be returned can be magical. Do return and visit throughout the year. It may be easier for you, rather than the caregiver, to keep in touch. Respect the caregiver's judgment about if, and when, to receive guests. Be sure your visits are a distraction and a pleasure rather than an added burden. In the spirit of the season, many visitors wish to bring gifts.
In the Northern Virginia Chapter Service Area, for more information about Holidays, please contact the Chapter's telephone Helpline at 703-359-4440 or 800-207-8679. Outside Northern Virginia, please contact your local Chapter.
Last updated: March 1, 1999
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