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Helping Teens Cope with Alzheimer's disease

Alzheimer's disease has a great impact on family life. Often overlooked as "victims" of this disease are the younger members of the family, especially teens. The degree to which teens are affected by Alzheimer's depends on who has the disease --- a parent or grandparent, relative or friend. Other factors include how close the teen is to the person and where the individual lives (in the same home, a nursing facility, etc.).

Because teens are at an age when they can be left at home alone and can be more responsible for handling household chores, many teens are left to handle some caregiver responsibilities because their parents need to work or be away from the home. Placing this responsibility on a teen's shoulders can be overwhelming and potentially dangerous.

"I wish my parents would have known the symptoms of Alzheimer's," says 13-year-old Ashley, whose grandmother has the disease. "I remember staying home alone with my grandma and she had walked up the stairs and then she just peed in her pants. It freaked me out. I had no clue what to do, no one was home, and she had this blank look on her face as is she was a zombie or something. Her disease has really affected me."

How your family's teen may feel:

• Sad about changes in a loved one's personality and behavior
• Confused about how people get the disease and why the person behaves differently
• Afraid of the behaviors that the person exhibits
• Worried that they or their parents might develop the disease
• Angry and frustrated by the need to repeat activities or questions
• Guilty for getting angry or being short-tempered with the person
• Jealous and resentful because of the increased amount of attention that is given to the person with Alzheimer's
• Embarrassed to have friends or other visitors to the house

Adult caregivers will likely be faced with some difficult moments throughout the course of the disease, making it challenging to control emotions. Be careful not to take out anger and frustration on or in front of the teen in your family because teens may take the behavior personally.

A teen's common reactions to Alzheimer's disease

Teens may exhibit their emotions in ways you may not easily recognize. They may:

• Verbalize vague physical complaints, such as a stomachache or headache
• Perform poorly in school
• Spend time away from home
• Stop inviting friends to the house

One of the most important things you can do for the teen in your family is learning as much as you can about the disease.

Ways to help teens cope:

• Maintain open lines of communication
• Offer comfort and support
• Provide opportunities for them to express their feelings
• Let them know their feelings are normal
• Educate them about the disease and encourage them to ask questions
• Respond honestly to questions

Activities that teens can do with the person who has Alzheimer's

• Go for a walk
• Do household chores together, such as folding laundry, raking leaves or washing dishes
• Listen to music, dance or sing
• Look at old photographs
• Read a favorite book or newspaper
• Develop a memory book about the person
• Make a family tree
• Watch a movie
• Keep a journal together

Ashley visits her grandmother regularly at the nursing home. "She is very happy there. Animals are allowed there, so sometimes we bring our dog, Diamond. My grandmother seems to remember her but not anyone else. It's OK though."

Ashley advises other teens to do all they can to comfort the person with Alzheimer's disease. "They don't know what's going on, so try to help them all you can. You may not get your reward now, but you will when you go to heaven."